Hello. And what? What? I turned into a robot just then. What happened? Hello. Um, hi everyone. Welcome to the coaching mixer with Aaron and Elena. Um, where we drink yummy things, sometimes yummy. We try some things. Some of them are yummy, some of them are not. Flashback to espresso martini episode for me. Um and we talk about coaching. Yeah. Yes. And what do you Yeah. Today we are both I think you got buried in snow too. Yes, we did. Probably not. I feel like for you like Canadians are probably like that's nothing. But for me I'm in New Jersey. It was a lot. I think it was like uh somewhere like 8 to 10 in or something like that. So it felt substantial. We were like shoveling a number of times throughout the day. No, we got a lot of snow. Like it's snow upon snow upon snow. It's been snowing non-stop and um I don't think I've seen a winter. I was driving with my kids because so Canadians do sometimes just they think well whatever it's snowing and blah blah blah. I drove him and at some point we were coming home last week. There was like blowing snow across the thing. I'm like, I can see the yellow line, but I'm thinking it might have been a mistake to leave the house. O. Yeah, it's it's been a lot. And we're having some kind of polar vortex thing. So, it has been about like minus30 Celsius. Oo, wait. I'm going to do the conversion. It's It's like arctic cold. It's like -22° F for Americans out there. Wow. That's very cold. Yeah. So, I have gone to my sauna and I've gone back into my house and that's my outside. That seems about right. I can't even conceive of weather that cold. Like I grew up in Southern California. Um, I live have lived in New York City and New Jersey and like that's the extent of my exposure to cold. Like it doesn't really get to zero here. That's like not really 0 Fahrenheit, which I think is uh Yeah. Yeah. 34 Fahrenheit would be zero Celsius. Anyway, math mathing math math math. Yeah. Um but it doesn't Yeah. It does not get that cold here. And even I'm like very wimpy. Like when it's 10, it got down to like 10° or something and there was wind and I was like, "No, goodbye." No. Um, yeah. I I also don't like the cold. Um, and you know, just just for context, like Canadians out west think we are totally like in balmy weather. Like those are the places that's like minus 34 all long. Yeah. Yeah. It's like they laugh at us when we get a snowstorm and we cancel school. Wow. It's all relative. We're the We're the weak ones here. We're like Southern California down here. Oh my god. You're in Toronto, right? Or near near Toronto. Yeah. Near Toronto. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Because of that though, we decided to do our favorite vacation beverages. What are you drinking? I am so excited about this drink. Um, so I wouldn't say it's my favorite vacation beverage, but it's like a summer like it's something that reminds me of summer. So, um, it's a tangerine whiskey sour. Oo. And like I have never made anything with egg whites. I made it with egg whites. I feel very scrappy because I don't have a like cocktail mixer. So, I used a mason jar and it's um I think it's beautiful. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm very excited about it. I also didn't know if I would horribly mess it up, so I made it like an hour ago cuz I was like, I need time to figure this out. It was actually very easy. Wait, so you made it an hour ago and you haven't tasted it yet? I haven't tasted it yet. Oh my gosh. Wait. Okay, I'll tell you mine in a second, but cheers. I want to know how it tastes. Okay. Cheers.
Ooh, that's really good. Mhm. It is. It's like summer in drink form to me. Wow. I'm I'm like just being basic and I Steve made me a margarita. He was like, "What do you want?" Just give me the tequila some tea. And I could have put a little lime wedge, but I didn't. So, I'm not fancy. Okay. For egg whites, one of the little tricks um that we we have like a milk fr. Oo. If you ever need to like froth egg whites, that can be like a good one. Oh, that's a good idea. Mhm. You have to shake it. Yeah. Yeah. It was actually kind of fun to like shake it vigorously. Got some energy out. Okay. So, we're Yeah. So, we're both in our sweaters in the cold. Um but pretending we're somewhere warm. Mhm. What problems? Are you Are you a salt margarita person or do you prefer nothing on the rim or or sugar or something else? If I'm at a restaurant, I I'll get salt. I didn't ask him to do it. I was like, I could I could just drink I also like I'm a person who will drink scotch. So like I don't need the I feel like if the tequila isn't great, then sometimes you need salt. But like it's nice. This is a nice tea. Yeah. Nice. It's not fancy looking, but delicious. Looks very refreshing and tasty.
Okay. So, while we're on vacation here, what problems are we solving today? What are we talking about? What's on your mind? So, a half hour ago, I was I like texted Aaron and I was like, "Okay, I have two ideas." And they were both like very heavy and dark. Cuz I think that's just sort of the vibe that I'm feeling. I don't know if you're feeling it. I think the world, like at least the Western world, North America is kind of feeling it. There's a lot of [ __ ] going down in the US. It's a lot. It's very intense. Um, so I was thinking either like talking about like I don't know politics and coaching or like how to navigate that, what that brings up um, from a business perspective, also from a coaching perspective and like a human perspective. Um, and then just like how to uh be in the position of like coach or how to exist as a coach when things are kind of rough for you like personally or socially or worldwide. What was that? Or globally. Yeah. Or globally. Yeah. I think it's a really important topic and I think it's like we're we're mixing like something kind of like fun vacation cocktail with an you know maybe a heavier topic but I think it's a valid thing to talk about because a lot of people I've watched like just from like from what from what we're witnessing you know being outside of the US um I notice a lot of people just feel very frozen like they don't want to necessarily share anything about what they're doing with their businesses. They don't feel like it's a good idea to promote themselves or do the marketing that they would normally do because it just can feel like is this so tonedeaf in the face of what feels very hard and heavy and like world changing because wherever you are in the world, we're in a time right now where things are changing. Yeah. Yeah, it feels very hard and it feels very heavy. And at the same time, as business owners, whatever service based business you're in, um, you have to do your business to have money, you know? Yeah. And like you can't do I mean in the world that we live in, if you aren't making enough money to survive, you're not effective in any sort of movement. Yes. Yeah. So, I think um I I think it's a good thing for us to maybe just talk about and I would really welcome like other people's opinions on this because you know like I'm I don't post about anything that's not to do with my business really or like my personal life on social media. Um but I don't think it's like a a shocker what my like political or uh spiritual values are, you know? I think it's really hard to be a witch. It's hard to be a believer in finding inner power and then like align with some of the values that are happening and and ruling uh a bunch of countries right now. Yeah. So, I don't think it's like a big surprise, but at the same time, I noticed that I have to tell myself like if I'm not in my marketing space to create something of value, to share some way that I can help people, to ideally like help my clients who are in the static and also trying to make sure their businesses can go through this very rough and rocky time. Um, it's really easy for me to be like empathically like leaking energy and feeling despair and falling into despair. So I like know for I know for myself I have to be really careful about how much I'm consuming and really know the difference for me between like being informed and kind of I I this is maybe really cynical but like giving all of these platforms like social media where I do my marketing giving them my eyeballs and attention knowing that they they're just cashing that in. I don't think that's I think that's the reality. Yeah. How do you how do you tell the difference between those things? Cuz like I'll be transparent. I'm still navigating this. Like I don't know that I have answers here. I have like answers that I've thought through for myself, but I'm open. I mean, I wish I had a clean answer. I think it's more like I think we all know what it feels like to doom scroll. Like there is there is an energetic quality to doing that. And I notice like at least for myself if I am getting on social media and I'm going like do and I'm checking all the things and I'm feeling despair without contributing something. Even if it's like contributing something like cute, like my kid last night grabbed my book and was like, "This is what I want to read for bedtime and I was like, "Okay, that's cute." That I feel like is a cute thing to share. It's like a little moment of my like 8-year-old peeking over my book. That felt like something joyful that's part of my world that I can like put out there. But if I'm only consuming and I'm not creating, that's usually a good cue for me.
Yeah.
Because when I'm cons I I just think like maybe because we're we're coaches too, part of what we're giving people when we're with them is our energy and our attention. And when that gets so severed and consumed by, you know what, the [ __ ] storm? What what are we calling this?
It takes away the like moments of clarity and um energy that we could bring to our clients who hopefully affect a lot of people and like create a ripple result from that position.
So, I don't know. I I guess it's like it's not a tidy answer, but it's like how I keep myself on the I also try not to get my news from social media. Yeah. Because then it's like all the factchecking and then like is this AI? Is this somebody who's just saying a thing to get a reaction to get more views to get paid? Like I I do get into that cynical loop of like what is the benefit of this person who's sharing this thing? Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. So was you not like was you kind of separating your political life from your business? Was that like a conscious decision that you made?
I think it kind of comes back to like the conversation we had about cults. Huh. Like I like the reason I don't lead in my marketing with like my religious beliefs or my spiritual beliefs is because I want to be open for people who are willing to examine their thoughts and their beliefs. Mhm. And I've watched people change their thoughts and beliefs, not in the context of me telling them what I think and how I think about things, but like being a safe space for someone to let some of those things unravel. I've watched clients change their political affiliation while working with me. Interesting. Mhm. And I mean that's not because of me. That's because of like what they witnessed in the world. But like I've watched people deconstruct religions in that space because it was finally a place where they could bring up those questions and I didn't have an answer to like keep them in or push them here or something like that. So, I guess it's a little intentional, but I also don't think like my political or religious beliefs are secret, right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like kind of grappling with this. I mean, I'm vocal on social media about like I I post things. I don't know that I post them to my um I usually post like in in stories when there's like political stuff going on that I want to comment on. Um,
and I can see I mean I don't I don't think I need to keep my political beliefs a secret. Actually, I think I'm okay with that. Um, and I think there's something in
me my clients kind of like me showing up in a way that is like human and being like this stuff has an impact on me. This is how I'm managing it. I don't know how successfully I do that and like it depends on what exactly is happening. think I need time to process and to like figure out how I'm actually going to take care of myself through some of the events. But um I think there is value in that and also our niches are different. So like there is that as well. Yeah. I think also like for me I coach for me coaching is like a deeply missiondriven practice. Like I don't just coach because like I enjoy it. Although I do. I coach because I'm invested in creating a world that or like co-creating a world or being a part of creating a world that has more I mean this is going to sound trit but that has like more love in it and that operates from a place of greater love and compassion. Um, and so I think I don't know that I consciously do this, but I think when I'm ex thinking through like what to post, first of all, I just want to be informed enough that I'm not like just yelling into the echo chamber. Um, and have something that's like actually maybe helpful to contribute. Um, I think you do really well actually. Thank you. I'm always there like heart in what you post because you actually are Yeah, you you post informed researched. I try. Yes, I try as best I can and I'm human. Um, but yeah, so I think it comes from a place of like asking myself, is this from my perspective contributing to a world that I want to be creating with other people? And for me, there are some issues that it's like a very clear, yeah, I'm going to speak up about this, like human rights, trans rights, immigrant rights. I'm like, "Yep, yay." That's like not a That's not human right. You mean human rights? Like freedom freedom for like women to be business owners. Like there are things that I'm like, "Yeah, this is for me. It's like, isn't it crazy how that's though political? Like how people think that's, oh, you're getting political. It's like, what? Yeah. What did you think I was doing? How is this political though? This is literally human rights. Like my right to exist and Yeah. and express myself and like think what I want and help other people think what they want. Yeah. Yeah. It's it is wild. But also like I everything is political. Like there's nothing that's not like co coaching is political and how you approach coaching I think is deeply political. how one coach approaches coaching, but it is wild that it's like up for debate currently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, I want to be it's I struggle with it because I like I want to be available for people who maybe are so deep in the cult of their the culture they were raised in, the beliefs that they were raised with, like that they're and they're starting to question it. I want to be the person who can at least like even if I don't agree, I want to be the person who can hold them through that exploration without shutting it down and pushing them back into it. M mhm. And I think, you know, like as you said, we have different niches, but you know, I work with so many business owners who end up kind of using their success as an entrepreneur to sort of like validate their worth in the world. Mhm. and sometimes like validate or invalidate the beliefs that they were taught. Mhm. I'm definitely a product of the place I grew up in. I remember moving to the US and being so mortified that like there was health insurance. Oh, join me. Like am I right premium on how much money I spend with the doctor? like just thinking it was horrific and even friends who you know were kind of more on the like liberal end how I was just like you guys are really conservative. I'm like, I must be a super socialist over here to be like, do you guys all think this is cool that you have to like pay the doctor $20 to like be seen? Like, yeah. All of these things that I just like totally took for granted and never examined, I realize. I'm like, oh yeah, this is a whole system that's just operating within me. And until I'm outside of it, I've never questioned it. I've never questioned the good parts or the bad parts. Um, but I remember like it was a total culture shock for everyone who says like, "Oh, North Americans are all the same." They're not all the same. It's very different. No. Very different systems, very different mindsets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I think you're I think you're right. I think there's like an aspect of like in in we are all operating from our political lens, our our social conditioning, all of the things. But I think that part of what I what I aspire to, I don't do it perfectly and I never will, but I what I aspire to as a coach is like just to be the curious thinking partner to like help question like is that belief that you're following and living your life by actually supporting the vision you want to create? So I think like you were just saying like is this contributing to the world I want to create? Is this bringing love into the world? Like what a beautiful question. Imagine if everyone was asking that question with every move they made. Yeah. Which is why I think coaching is so powerful in moments like this because like to take your healthc care example, I would be willing to bet if if if you found at least like maybe a liberal or I think a lot of people in actuality if you're able to like divorce it from a lot of social conditioning if if you presented a viable option of having access to health care without having to like pay an insurance premium and like go through the rigomearroll and pay a copay and all of that. If that was like genuinely conceived of as a viable option, I think a lot of people would be like, "Wow, sign me up. This is amazing." But it's like if it's not a part of a person's imagination, right? If they can't like conceive of that possibility, they're just not going to think of it as an option for themselves. So I think that's what like you were saying part of the value of coaching is having like a a thought partner to help you align to your morals. I think it's also a space where you can freely imagine alternatives to how things are currently operating and it's like safe to do so. You don't have to know how to make the changes happen. You don't have to know it doesn't have to feel plausible that you could take the steps. just imagining it has value and then if you want to you can work toward creating that reality. Yeah. And I mean the other again I'm like exposing all my cynicism. The other like part of it I think on the flip side is it like also questioning the things that you've just believed for your whole life that are just kind of the the water you're swimming in and asking like who benefits when I continue or perpetuate this belief because I think that sometimes gives us like more clarity. It's like if I just go along with this because that's how it's always been done or that's how my family did it, who wins? I love that question as like a a co coaching question because if it's not you, if it's not your community, if it's not your like the people you love and care about, who is it? Yeah. I hadn't really thought of how like potentially revolutionary that question is. I think in coaching it comes up a lot. That and also um whose voice is that, right? Yes. Who's like who is that your voice? Is that someone else's voice is being like expressed through your thoughts? Like where did you learn this? I see those come up a lot when you explore like kind of family systems and how they reverberate through your current reality. But that's also very powerful when you think about like the social realities that we're all embedded in. Yeah. Yeah. It's uh and I get why people don't ask those things. I get why that's like not something that I I don't use that in my marketing very often because it I think it it is but I mean ultimately I really do believe that these are the kinds of questions that I individuals have to grapple with in order to actually create changes in the system. Mhm. And I mean, it's horrific to watch what's happening and I'm watching people change their minds. Mhm. I'm watching people and come together come together. Um it's, you know, I I for as cynical as I can be, I I really do believe people can change. I do believe individuals are so capable of growth and shifting. Um, that's why we're coaches. If we didn't believe that, this would not be the industry for us. But I do believe that like I wish it didn't have to be this way and be this hard. And people are waking up.
